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The Energy of You

Each one of us is unique, though we are all part of a bigger collective sharing in a universal experience. Yes, sounds a little complicated unless you break it down to the fact that we are all just energetic beings. Who else believes everything is energy?

What this means is that there are different frequencies of energy and different rates of engaging with this energy – but the best part is that energy is transformable. This means that if we decide we want to be a certain way or have a certain experience we hold an ability to do so. Yes sometimes it is as easy as breathing a little deeper and sometimes it takes just a little bit more work. Regardless, if we align with ourselves then we can step into a frequency that we approve of, accept and courageously bringing forward in the world.

Being able to become who we are is quite an opportunity, some people have said the opportunity of a lifetime which is a privilege available to everyone that chooses to engage more deeply. If that sounds too complicated, it really is about coming home to who you already are – an energetic being that has what it takes to come alive!

What would it be like for you to pause and celebrate life, on some level on a daily basis? Yes, a bit of an undertaking, but getting into a positive frequency makes it easier to create and allow for an enjoyable experience of life – even when it is hard or painful. (If doing it on a daily basis seems overwhelming what about a season or a cycle or even just a few days)? It would fill our ‘resilience tank’ which would then give us the capacity to handle adversity when it comes. For those living in daily adversity, then this is a free accessible tool to reconnect you to the potential that is available to access a new reality.

In the energy of being ourselves we have to allow ourselves permission to be who we have always wanted to be. (While respecting the story of where we have come from). It may take a change in habit and routine, but you can start buy honoring the energy of you. Could you take time everyday to really tune into your uniqueness, your talents, gifts, even your story? By honoring it on a daily basis you give it more energy which allows you to stand more fully in your personal power. It requires a little bit of vulnerability but if you approve of you it is easy to take a little risk and share your light with the world. Which by the way the universe is anxiously awaiting to see you come alive!

There are external energies influencing you as well. Some of them we can shift and change, and sometimes the reality of life seems so unbearable we aren’t certain we have the resources to even begin to make a shift. Pain and adversity is real and it heavily influences how we engage in our life. This engagement is the energy we bring forward to express our experiences. In my opinion there is no real way to get rid of the pain, but we can transform it back to peace. Back to a simple joy and choose to live from that connection which in time can help heal the wounds of our heart. (If you want help with this, please reach out, to me or someone you trust and value).

One thing we want to do is allow ourselves permission to enjoy rather than deny ourselves the connection to the simple celebrations of life. Being able to laugh, getting lost in the light of our hearts, and being able to appreciate the people that show up to support, love and connect with us in our life (or our dreams). Sometimes we just have to appreciate that the breath was there for us when our life depended on it.

When we compassionately engage with the energy of ourselves we know ourselves on a deeper level. This awareness connects us to the core of our being creating value, confidence, and authenticity. What I believe is that when we connect to our individual energy then we honor the energy of the collective. At the same rate if we honor and appreciate the collective it can be easier to step in and honor the energy of the individual.

If you find the energy of the collective to be discouraging, connect back to what inspires you and engage with this energy regularly so you can bring forward your gifts in subtle ways to make a radical difference over time. In the same effort if you are inspired by the energy around you, connect back to the energy of yourself that appreciates this reflection, engage with it on your own terms and add to the inspiration of the world.

What energy of life lights you up right now? What energy are you bringing to life? Tell me cause I love to know the energy of you!

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The Involvement of Growth

On the path of life there is the invitation to live grounded in the peace of our true self. Holding this intention is known as Sankalpa in yoga. In order to experience the great light of our true essence we have to also honor the wounds that need healing. These imprints on our soul are called Samskara. With the consistency of the practice we nourish, heal, and hold space to honor our whole self.

Being consistent with our practice is essential if we want to heal. If we hold the intention to at least just show up, regardless if we are feeling amazing or are struggling deeply, we make a shift back to peace, Shanti, and hold more confidence in our ability to stand in our light, Samadhi. These are the core elements that I lean into as a yoga practitioner, teacher, mother, wife, friend, sister and daughter. It is all really amazing and can help us grow or evolve at a soul level.

When people show up on their mat I ask these questions consistently… What do you standing for? What motivated them to show up? Will they allow themselves to honor the effort it took to arrive? Inviting people to show up for their own light requires a level of courage – the courage to see the value of their own worth.

I am going to come clean though, in over 20 years of a deeply committed yoga practice that definitely saved my life, along the journey I realized that it just wasn’t enough. Yep, true confessions of a yoga practitioner that is devoted to her spiritual practices that includes meditation. Becoming a mom made it even more apparent. Before I go any further, I hold a high standard of what it means to stand in my light. I am not fulfilled if I am not evolving and growing. It is evident in how much I have invested in trainings to help, serve and heal. This can be exhausting and expensive, but it is what nourishes me and keeps me engaged in my life.

Motherhood is an amazing opportunity that I consciously choose and had to fight for and stay committed too. There are moments where I find myself in a stark contrast to all that I stand for and it has thrown me into the deepest and darkest layers of myself. I have so many tools yet I have to keep finding more tools. Thankfully this search keeps me open to receiving guidance.

That guidance directed me to take care of myself at a core level on a whole new level. I added supplements to heal my gut with Plexus and sought out the best therapist that does EMDR – Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It is because of my commitment to being my best self through a WHOLISTIC approach that I was able to tune into the alarm clock of stress. When certain things I do really well and with ease aren’t coming together as clearly, sharply or easily, I go inward to seek guidance from my soul and well, this is where I found myself – doing more work to heal the deeper layers of me.

When I shared with a client of mine that I was going to commit to a deeper level of healing (I prefer to be transparent) she said to me “you are… rather involved”. It warmed my heart that she noticed, was curious, but really just holding space for me too. Holding space for each other is what another client says is living in diversity. I love my clients as they know firsthand that this life, to really live it to your best, to be in a strong healthy relationship with your higher self, requires growth which requires your commitment. Consistently remaining in a relationship with your own light. Your most satisfying and fulfilled life is an inside job that keeps you involved with your own evolution.

There’s so much taboo, and stigma around needing therapy or wanting a coach. Yet being able to ask for help is essential. People love to help as I am sure you do too. There are so many people that are afraid of being alive – but that is an entirely different subject and if you are reading this – that is not you. Fearing our own light is an example of how much pain we hold inside and it is evident in the ways people keep knocking other people down. Not honoring the pain is one thing, being ok living in pain is another, both of them are examples of being afraid to live.

Choosing to do deep trauma work comes from honoring my anger, fear and fact that I can’t do all that I desire to do and be the version of me that I know is there but she seems hidden from time to time. It might sound weird to say that going to those dark places, sitting in the pain, letting tears flow and being ok with being deeply lost is so powerful but I can because going there allows the opportunity for transformation. Now I can talk about it, fell lighter, have more energy, feel more enthusiasm for life, sleep better and have a stronger belief in my own worth. I feel more peace and hold a greater vision for myself and those that are with me in this journey of life. So my hope in sharing this is that maybe talking about the darkness will bring more light and make it easier for you to do the deeper work.

Seeing that yoga is like therapy for so many, so why would you just stop at the mat? Yoga had a stigma a while back, when I first started teaching, but look how that has shifted with so much evidence of how it helps nourish your soul.

Ever notice how in a group class, workshop or retreat is so much more fun when there are people practicing with you. When we are in a community we can grow together mainly because we are reminded we are not alone. Our wounds are unique but there is a commonality in being human.

If you think that we can do this life alone and without any kind of growth, you just might be killing your soul.

You do want to drop into the deeper layers of yourself and receive the guidance or your higher self. To come home to your truth. It is a process of releasing and renewing. And while meditation appears to be a practice of sitting alone with yourself, you are actually inviting in the great light of consciousness, god, spirit, source, however you call it. It is the process of holding space for yourself. So you realize you are not alone. It strengthens your ability to acknowledge what are you willing to be involved in and align with your truth. When you work with someone trained and experienced in facilitating healing you are inviting in an energy that holds you in a higher regard, keeping you accountable for your own worth.

To think that we can do it all on our own is living from a limited perspective and shutting out spirit no matter how you believe. The paradox in this is that I teach self-reliance and how one can advocate for themselves. This is also one of my weaknesses. I can still be too reliant on my own self, too full of pride or righteous. I am highly skilled you know, and that in of itself is what takes me down and why I am sharing that even I have pain, struggles and have learned to ask for help in the deeper healing of my own soul’s light.

Knowing your tendencies and triggers is where the power of transformation resides. I tend to be the hero, the helper and the one always taking care of everyone else’s needs. Thanks to the general nature of being in relationship to life requires an involvement in the relationship with oneself.

Being committed to my highest self layered with my eternal quest to always go deeper and seek more clarity has lead me to the understanding that it is essential for me to receive – like my life depends on it. All our lives depend on it, it is a universal truth. Showing up for the deep work can be uncomfortable. But that discomfort is short term and the peace and joy is always waiting on the other side.

Even when I am not certain I have it in me, I show up for my light every day. I’ve learned that I have to make my life a priority and be involved in my growth if I’m gonna be any kind of light for anybody else. Showing up for the light of our own heart, our own heartbeat, the people that we love, the community we live in, the humanity that we engage in this life with, it’s essential that we show up for our own self. Showing up means we have to be involved with the deeper layers, the soil of our soul.

The involvement of growth is more than just being positive, thinking good thoughts and always having the most elaborate self-care list. Actually it is about honoring the wounds, practicing forgiveness, cultivating compassion and allowing yourself to be vulnerable enough to allow other people to hold space for your own healing.

When you show up for your highest light you want to remember you are human, and every human holds an imprint on their soul that is going to require an involvement with healing. This samsara will work with your ego or your dark side and try really hard to hide your truth. Living authentically aligned means to your willing to love on your weaknesses. It makes it easier to make decisions around wanting to wear deodorant or not. To engage with your highest might cause a little ripple of discomfort to get back to the peace and joy. What comes is clarity. Being clear in where you invest your time and your energy is priceless really. The involvement of growth brings so much more freedom to your life.

Please know that I am a highly functioning person who has a lot of trauma.  I feel incredibly blessed with all my experiences that my resilience has always been strong. Trauma is trauma. It happens every day and because it happens a lot when were young does not mean we deserve it or that it is ok. Unfortunately a lot of people don’t have access to people holding space for their own transformation. Maybe by sharing a little bit of my own pain and struggle it will give you permission to no longer be haunted by your own darkness.

Those moments of heartache are nothing to be ashamed of but rather embraced, respected and nourished. Because all of us have wounds and this is what allows us to be compassionate. These wounds teacher us to the wisdom of our own hearts that can guide us on a daily basis. Getting involved in your own evolution and personal growth brings forward freedom where you can stand in your light with more ease, more comfort, more peace and more enjoyment for life as a whole.

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Returning To The Dance of Life

Well, I’ll be completely honest – I have had little free time to write this and it has been a draft for a number of days. This is the dance of life. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with being human, everything to do with being me. Being human means there are moments where it appears to all unfolds brilliantly and then the moments that appear to be in contrast and contract from the vision you held for yourself. All of this is a beautiful and divine dance that allows for this sacred essence of life.

This past year I have taken a little space from my professional offering to allow for a loving integration of our family life. (We have gone through lots of beautiful changes this past year). In addition to the space of my profession I have given a whole lot more energy to myself personally – to my soul. While committing to the deeper healing work that allows me to show up authentically to life I am so grateful to the room to integrate the healing. Yep, I gave myself permission to make myself a priority and tend to my family this summer. Taking this break from my professional offering in the form of a newsletter, blog, podcast, welcoming new clients even teaching yoga has been the best idea I have had for a while. It may appear as a serious contraction but in all honesty it’s been a time of renewal. Now I can return to the greater dance of mom, wife, and professional more centered, healed and whole.

First, life allows for more order and structure permitting me to share. Second, I am excited, full of inspiration and creativity, with a renewed sense of purpose. There is room in my life to manifest the inspiration and bring a little momentum to what matter’s most – SOUL LOVE! Third, moving from a place of renewal has me open to engaging with more like minded souls.

Sure being able to be in a space to nourish my soul and create choices that cultivate expansion and life enhancement sounds like a privilege. I’ll be honest with you, it is. It is also an opportunity and requires a deep commitment. There is also this confession that my kids have depleted any additional juice I have had and this is not a bad thing as they are one of my greatest teachers right now. Being able to give them the extra love they deserve is one of the greatest opportunities and part of my soul’s love. They continue to reflect back to me my promise to bring my best self forward and in this reflection – it is not always pretty. 

Being 42 with 2 young kids where I get to support my husband and his professional journey while tending to the home is a privilege but also contains a lot of sacrifices. There is so much that is on hold right now. Like I told my 16 year old nephew – missing out on what you want to be doing is Life School 101. Then I realized I am not missing out at all, actually it’s a process of being more true, more real, more present and more aligned. What appears to be a sacrifice is really the art of surrendering. As Kate Northup says, I have been in the fertile void. I have been doing a ton of research, being financially savvy, and investigating how to make myself more visible integrating the awareness and authenticity that has come forward. So here I am sharing and ready to be a bit more vulnerable to be of greater service.

If you didn’t know, my heart is always hungry to share the deeper reflections of life and share the tools that keep me inspired even in the moments of adversity and challenge. This is how I want to be of service – to provide tools to help others navigate the sacred journey of life. Exploring the soul crushing elements of trauma, limiting patterns, judgement and shadow may not be for everyone – it’s a journey that is so sacred and requires a little bit of a departure from some of the engagements in the world also known as healthy boundaries. Yet everyone experiences it and if I do not show up to be a witness to my own stuff then there is no way I can be any kind of leader that moves forward with integrity. This is available to everyone as long as we realize and honor our own pace. It is also key to living with resilience.

For me sharing my heart’s wisdom is motivated by the call to live integrated with my truth. To see the light within myself, live it and embrace my entirety in order to bring my highest self forward. This is the only way I feel I personally can turnaround and share it in a way that can support other souls on the path of life. My kids, you and beyond. Wanting others to feel free and shine brightly, to thrive in the chaos requires me to stay committed to my own growth and integrating it into my life. Then I can hold the space for those that are also interested and committed to living from this vantage point. You too deserve to see your own light and embrace the radiance of life. Everyone, in my opinion, deserves to set their light free!

To set ourself free we first have to honor where we are and then step inward. It doesn’t mean we stop living – hardly that. We just consciously look at how busy we are keeping ourself to avoid what needs to be tended too. What are you needing right now to expand your light so you can be the kind of energy that lights up the room? What can you commit to releasing so you can restore and return more centered and more true? Doing the deeper work it is easier to choose to live with deliberate intention and bring offerings forward that support your unique and sacred journey as well as your fellow soul companions. Your light matters to the world around you. My hope is you give yourself permission to also love your soul and to live authentically you know – be you.

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Cultivating Clarity – Marvel – Episode 30

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Our true self calls from deep within and this authentic revelation is beautiful and amazing. Life is tricky, challenging and presents so many stories that begs to differ this idea. In the practice of Yoga and Ayurveda we are given the gunas that reveal to us the pattern of clarity, restlessness and inertia. There are so many ways to share the patterns that show up in our life. Even in the world of counseling moving towards congruence and self actualization/realization is a main concept. Imagine living from a place of inner richness, harmony and peace. Imagine sharing this truth in a loving way that supports others with intelligence, the ability to problem solve and be heart felt. We get honest with what we are feeling inside and know that the doubt, fear, despair are very real and very much a part of this whole divine expression of life, but it is not where we have to live from there is always a chance to turn something rotten into something amazing.

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Serving Your Soul – Manifest – Episode 25

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It is one thing to say you have soul…it is another thing to live with soul. Serving your soul requires a clear articulation and engagement every day that allows us to live with more of the good stuff. Living with more joy, enchantment, celebration and being able to recognize how many of our prayers are being answered. Living with soul means every day you show up and celebrate the little moments that are miraculous. The moments where love and truth are revealed.

Bring your soul to life! Get curious, be inspired, align with the call of your own heart! Dig in to cultivate your own understanding of bringing your soul to life. Engage with gratitude and appreciation. See the energy that is available and call upon this loving energy that surrounds you and be open to receive.

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Exploring a new understanding…ending a love affair

Saturday I was fortunate enough to be a student on my mat. I headed north and visited a studio I spent many hours deepening my connection to the many dimmensions of teaching yoga. It took so much for me to organize my life to be away for such a short bit of time, but I was so very motivated to return to a place, a community that helped me stand more confidently in my own light as a person, a student and as a teacher. The teacher, she is a true embodiment of yoga, authentic in her offering, grounded in her understanding and playful yet serious in her sharing. The community as a whole has gone through a radical shift and because of that, there was so much more beauty and so much more permision to simply be myself. Her offerings validated so much of what I have been quietly investigating on my own, using yoga to recover from a cesarean and transition into this life phase of independent yoga teaching female, to highly dependent, dedicated yoga mamma. My training to support strong and optimal mental health as well as re-discovering the transformational power of the breath. I felt strong yet weak, excited but reserved, incredibly grateful for the moment and ready for the moment to pass. Yes, my love affair with yoga was over. What…? Love affair with yoga….?

Please, yoga is in woven deeply into every cell of my being, it is who I am, how I function, how I survive the hardships of life, and recognize the sacred beauty in all things. This aspect has not ended. What's over is the searching to be the best yoga teacher possible based on other people's teachings. The grasping onto every last word so that I can improve my own offering. The plotting for my next yoga journey, training and exploration of more yoga. (Okay, not really considering I am in graduate school for Mental Health Counseling as well as training to be a Transformational Life Coach). But the love affair with my yoga mat, it's over. I'm more interested in teaching from my heart, from my experience, from my organic connection to the teachings that is expanding from years of dedicated study. Yes, yoga tells us we always need a teacher, we need eyes that help us refine and enhance, I get that. I am just realizing that teacher, right now, is grace for me. That teacher is the divine in every moment, even when it feels so distant and far removed. The teacher is woven into the encounter for the day, reflecting on my faults, expanding on my strengths. But what was wonderful that with the ending of this affair, I got to enjoy my practice and remain grounded, centered, connected and delight in the time exploring the body mind and spirit in a simple, yet profound, time with some amazing people, guided by a truly gifted light.

Sianna mentioned our yoga becomes our landing pad of grace. Yoga has saved my arse on numerous occassions and currently keeps me grounded and centered as I discover how to wear this new hat of motherhood. My relationship with yoga hasn't ended, just the chasing, romanticising, love affair aspect of needing more.  As I explore this new relationship I am choosing to be embraced by grace, embodied in my own heart, learning from the daily manifestation of grace in my relationship with myself and those I love.