How are you showing up for your life? What is it all really about? Can you tune into the miraculous nature that surrounds you? Think on it, listen to your own inner call and honor her. Allow your light to lead the way so that you illuminate the path for those around you alleviating pain and overwhelm as you deepen your faith with your own truth. This is serving our soul…individually and collectively. Being able to lead from this place brings clarity, confidence and a deep sense of fulfillment. Listen for yourself!
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Talking – or listening- to why it's important to live with more ease is one thing, taking action is what this weel is all about! The only way you can reprogram your inner reality is by embracing where you are and how that inner world opperates. Taking notice and then getting inspired to live with more ease. Sure at first it will feel like work, but then it will become second nature. Who want's to live aggitated and overwhelmed – or always so busy!!! When you begin to reflect on the powerful shift that comes with reflection and journaling in your essential nature seeing, embracing and engaging with the way you opperate internally….your experience in life elevates and well, you just feel so much better. Schedule some time in your day to reset and renew!!!! If it is really uncomfortable at first, you are not alone, so take note of the discomfort and dig a little deeper, your future thanks you as do all the people you engage with in your life.
This has come up for me lately in lots of different expressions. And when things are repeated numerous times in different forms I take it as a sign that I am supposed to pay attention and contemplate, think on, dwell, digest and then share to whomever might be interested in listening to my perspective.
If you’ve navigated the yoga world at all there are a few things that get thrown around harshly in my opinion, the ego as something that’s bad and is to be destroyed and then the mind being compared to a monkey in a negative light. I’ll unpack monkey mind another time, but you can relate a lot of my offering on the ego can serve the soul to the monkey mind. There are many offerings, poses, kriyas (sequence of actions to cleanse), meditations, breathing exercises to rid the body of the ego. To stomp and destroy. I’m stopping there because I always walked away when this conversation surfaced as deep down I felt this was a total misunderstanding & out of alignment with the concept of ahimsa which means non violent.
Alright in normal terms, well my sense of normal that is, I’ll keep it at there is lightness that is warm, supportive & expansive. The light elevates, uplifts and enhances. Then there is darkness, that slows down, conceals, hides, contracts and blinds. (Side note the light can blind you as well). But you see what I’m saying, they are opposites. Usually the light is considered good, the dark bad, but for me it is all divine and provides powerful clues to be in a strong relationship of living fully, aligned with the highest compassion and truth. You need both.
It’s easier to sleep at night, when it’s dark out, and sleep is so healing and nourishing to our being as long as we don’t spend all day in bed. But in our experience of life when we are in a dark place we tend to be lost, unmotivated, overwhelmed, beyond or means, depleted and in some level of pain. When we are our brightest, we are balanced, clear, focused, steady, motivated, adaptable, happy & experiencing great freedom. So if you had to choose, based on this explanation, where or how would you choose to live? Aligned and fueled by the light or dark?
The ego is part of who we are, it’s in our being kind of like our belly button. It plays a part to our functioning and ability to live in greater alignment, but like the belly button, doesn’t rule the functioning. Yes the belly button is an interesting example, but it’s a point that served a powerful purpose during one of the most miraculous times of your life, and now is just an expression on everyone’s body that’s just there reminding us that though the cord was cut we all are connected. What the ego will do is hid our light, encourage us to hid the light from others or take us into a pattern where we believe it’s ok to live with fear, instill fear, remain disconnected from our truth and suffer deeply from such ideas. Including fighting for what we feel is right and not allowing others to see it differently as long as no one is being harmed. You with me?
When we know this we can then check in and instead of putting the ego in excile we make it our friend. A good friend at that because it becomes a voice that no longer silently manipulates us but rather helps us monitor what’s fueling our choices. The ego can help us realize if everything we do is out of greed, or is it out of service. The ego becomes a good friend that can say yes feed more of the darkness, pain and violence into the world because who cares what is it all about anyway and no one notices me anyhow. And when that voice shows up, (this is just one example by the way), you’ve made it all about you and the ego declares victory. But if you do take note and you start to care the ego will make it difficult on you and feed your awareness with messages & visions of how your light and offering & presence doesn’t matter or a story that keeps you small and second guessing your worth. But then if you make an even stronger commitment to making the ego an ally, unifying and recognizing it’s a part of you then you are playing on the same team and can cooperate to make amazing things happen in your life & ultimately the world. It can help you recognize when you turn from your truth becoming disconnected from your soul & deep purpose which doesn’t just create pain internally it creates and inflicts pain on the people that you encounter, stranger or friend. It can return you to a life that flourishes keeping you grounded in your sacred essence. Yes, it becomes a guide that lets you know what you are choosing and if it’s all about you or if it’s about you as an expression of the light serving the greater good. This is going to complicate matters, the ego can also keep you from seeing your worth & significance telling you you are just supposed to sacrifice your light & essence. Which is impossible by the way. If you want to feed the hungry you’ll only be of service if you lead by example and be certain you are also being fed. But I’ll save that for another time. So ultimately when the negativity starts simply welcome more light and enjoy how you are using the ego to serve your soul.
Sometimes I meltdown because I'm exhausted, worn out or just totally over whelmed. The feeling that there's not enough time to get everything done or I freak because I don't know when I will ever get it all done. This puts a pressure on me that robs me of the moment that's trying to offer kindness, compassion and support. I deplete my own self because I say yes to my curiosity of life that has me involved in way more than I have room for currently. This pattern doesn't really help keep myself and family healthy and happy.
It's a trait of highly achieving woman and men. The tendency to say yes to your family, yes to your boss, yes to helping out a friend, yes to the next training, yes to life. The desire to be the best while pleasing everyone makes it incredibly difficult to live with less stress. I mean come on, if you are a caring & determined individual that is driven, a lot of us are driven by the need to be needed, wanted & appreciated.
Think about it…who was young and felt appreciated when we were accommodating, polite and putting our own needs last. I even got sent to the principles office one day because I just wanted my own space and didn't feel like playing with everyone at recess. If I did anything differently I was weird or selfish or I was left to feel guilty if I didn't care. Honestly, I've spent a lot of my life demonstrating how much I care. I'd even say I take pride in my achievements of being in a caring, service based industry that is supposed to be selfless.
It's almost like high achieving individuals have to prove to the world how much they care about the world around them constantly seeking everyone's approval. It's uncomfortable just spelling it out & even worse when I acknowledge that this is how I tend to live. (Well, use to live). My body gets tight & my breath gets shallow. I can feel the stress building which just eats away at my ability to manage my time, set boundaries & respect my relationship with myself. It gets in the way of receiving the care people offer towards me.
Personally I'm always going to be a purpose driven participant in life. If you are also driven, even if you're still seeking but you care about the quality of life for yourself and others, I honor you, respect you & salute you! So let's make a commitment together and start by no longer sacrificing ourselves. Because sacrificing isn't serving anyone. Here are a few ways I've started to do this. Sure I still have the occasional meltdown or slip up, but the rhythm of my own life is improving immensely! And it's fun feeling a little more spacious and being able to enjoy the commitments I do make.
Respect the Relationship
Figure out what is most important to you. Success, family, financial stability, integrity, health, accountability…are a few examples from my own life. Then either journal about what these things mean to you, visualize what it looks like, or create a vision board that has images representing these qualities. Don't spend time thinking about how they are going to happen but instead put the energy into how you'll be able to know or feel when they are happening. By getting clear on these areas you'll be able to set boundaries that allow you to respect the relationship you have with these areas of your life. Yes, that means putting a value on the relationship with yourself!
Validate the Relationship
Now that you know what is most important to you and you have a clear picture of what that feels like or looks like moving forward, it's time to exercise that knowledge. This helps to not just set boundaries but provides support when we say no to another commitment. For example if success is important as is family, health and accountability and someone asks you to work with them on a project that has potential to elevate you and others. Great. Except this success requires more effort in that you'll have to organize more childcare, eat poorly because you don't have time to prepare something healthy and create more distance between you and your loved ones or friends. Because you quickly recognize the extensive levels of sacrifice and see how you are seriously compromising what's most important, then you are in a position to quickly recognize that it only creates success in one area while depleting energy in all the other areas that you value. By validating what you respect you're operating from a more authentic place to negotiate without sacrifice.
Receive the Respect
You've gained clarity and are taking steps to live that clarity which I promise brings more ease, fluidity as well as stability. This all results in less stress, less concern in proving yourself outwardly because you are living with more satisfaction both inwardly and outwardly. Now you have to simply allow yourself to just receive. Receiving how more people appreciate you, value you and respect you. Seriously. By deciding to not solve everyone's problems, prioritizing what means the most, you're living with more alignment and honesty. You're living with one of the more powerful qualities of being a highly achieving individual… the ability to receive…fully. People value who you are because it's genuine. The time you spend with anyone you're less scattered and more present. Receiving the success you've cultivated includes actually enjoying it because you no longer are over committed, all over the place or exhausted.
Warning, life gets better because you recognized that it's your choices that are using up all your time. There is more than enough time. Some of the most amazing and successful people I know operate from a clear foundation of respecting, validating & receiving the gifts of who they truly are. You know, you can actually appreciate the little moments of serenity that are constantly showing up for you. What would the world really turn into if highly driven individuals started to demonstrate their ability to respect themselves first? If you're nourished and supported then don't you actually have even more to give?